Adventures with Vincent

Backstage at the Saskatchewan convention center, I’m about to deliver an inspirational lecture on cosmetic dentistry for TEDxSaskatoon when I suddenly realize that not only do I not know the first thing about dentistry; I’m also wanted by the Canadian authorities for outfitting a moose with a bowler hat, with the intent to teach him canasta. I take out my phone to call for help, only to be sidetracked by a Facebook notification that I have been erroneously tagged in forty-three photographs of the Nuremberg trials. By the time I’ve finished untagging myself, it’s too late to escape, and as I’m escorted to the stage I black out momentarily. When I come to, the audience is giving me a standing ovation, and within two days “Zen and the Art of Unnecessary Bridgework” has more than fourteen million views on YouTube. Before long, I’m in a taxi on the way to the airport, at which point I open the envelope containing my honorarium, only to discover—to my horror—that it is empty except for two loonies and tickets to a French-Canadian production of “The Fantasticks.” (I wake up in a cold sweat, a headset microphone pressed to my cheek, my iPhone pinging with a friend request from Joachim von Ribbentrop.)

Eleanor’s bedtime routine looks a little something like this: I take her upstairs for her bath (or a simple hand and face washing if that’s all that’s necessary or we are running late, which is most evenings {the running late, I mean}. This hand-and-face washing usually turns into some feet washing too, which usually results in a few minutes of us hiding her feet under the washcloth and her squealing in delight every time I say “Oh, oh. Eleanor! where did your foot go?” to which she replies “Right here!” and pulls the rag away with vigor as she laughs at seeing her feet emerge {Can you imagine having this much fun washing your feet?!}). Anyway, next we brush her teeth (she chews on the toothbrush for a minute or so and then I brush actually brush them) and head into her room where her dad takes over- changing into PJs, selecting and reading books (usually three unless we are, as usual, running late), turning out the light, a quick back rub, and then one last kiss before he leaves her to fall asleep.

Last night, after my portion of the bedtime routine, I was puttering around in the bathroom cleaning out the crap extra stuff under the sink when I heard Tim say something to Eleanor that gave me pause. “Eleanor,” he said. “You have a beautiful body.”

A few months ago I wrote about the degree to which girls are praised for their looks, and how infrequently we ask them questions that relate to their interests or hobbies (or directly engage their intellectual curiosity), so when I heard Tim (who is the kind of father that would rather encourage Eleanor’s love of books, or bugs, than eye shadow or handbags) tell Eleanor that she had a beautiful body I wondered where he was going with it.

He continued. “Look at these two legs of yours. They are so strong. They help you run and jump and balance. And look at this belly. It helps you turn all the good food you eat into energy that helps you play and grow.” He continued from one body part to another, describing how many she had of each (two eyes and one brain) and detailing all the wonderful things those body parts allowed her two do (a nose for smelling flowers, and two strong arms for hugging and holding your animals, and two ears that let you hear the birds singing and music playing…). The room was silent but for his voice, which was soft; soft enough to suggest that he was close to her, fully engaged in their time together. There was not a sound coming from Eleanor either, no stirring, kicking against the wall, or rustling of the sheets- sounds that usually suggest her typical toddler fidgeting. I stood motionless in the doorway, listening.

When he finished there was a moment of silence. I imagined Eleanor internalizing, at such a young age, this deeply important lesson about all that she, in her body (the very body that she has and not one that she thinks she should have), is capable of and at that moment I couldn’t remember the last time I was so moved.

And I wasn’t the only one.

After several seconds of silence I heard Eleanor’s response: “More daddy.”

3 days, 16 films!

Citizen Koch
How Citizens United and the billionaire brothers’ playbook ruined our democracy. Creepy and frightening.

Blood Brother
Young American fills up the hole in his heart and shares the love in a Chennai AIDs orphanage.

Gideon’s Army
Heroes, no capes, just smarts, passion, idealism.

By Her Side
When a woman gives birth, the man is in the picture, too. Just breathe.

Menstrual Man
Muru builds a simple, beautiful machine and starts a powerful revolution for rural women in India.

Taxidermists
Kinda lifeless.

Dance for Me
Sweet coming-of-age story spins across the dance floor.

Muscle Shoals
By the river that sings, where that funky greasy unforgettable sound was born (along with Aretha Franklin).

Wolf Mountain
I think this was an infomercial, but I’m not 100% positive.

Buzkashi
Crazy machismo on parade in the stunning mountains of Tajikistan, with a dead goat.

Manhunt
The long road to Abbottabod mapped by relentless dedication, intuition and luck. A shoutout to the CIA sisterhood!

If You Build It
Shop class reinvented. Studio H founders Matt and Emily work hand in glove with kids in rural North Carolina to bring hope (and a homegrown farmer’s market) to their town.

Twenty Feet from Stardom
Meandering tribute to backup singers. But Lisa Fischer and Merry Clayton will give you the chills, the way they sing.

The Recordbreaker
The happiest person in the world.

Cutie and the Boxer
A woman (artist) needs a room of her own.

A River Changes Course
Breathtaking, heartbreaking look at a fast-disappearing way of life in rural Cambodia. Unforgettable characters, including the rice fields and the river.